I spent days wondering what if someone gets to know the real me and how I actually feel? The fear of baring my soul to someone rather made me an introvert.
Speaking of fear, I cannot share my emotions. I laugh out loud with my peer but I never cried. Everyone tells me it’s good to vent it out. So I thought maybe putting my un-shared emotions into words would be the same as crying, instead on paper where the ink flows.
Every night, I went to my warm, dim lit, cozy spot while the outside world went into their own unconscious reality, fighting their own demons, hoping that words would someday help me vent out my emotions. Days passed away and I kept writing with the same hope. Not that I forced myself to, but because it helped me rescue myself from the chaos in my head.
But one fine night, I woke up with a heavy heart sitting in the complete darkness and stillness of my comfort zone, I took a deep breath and cried out loud. I don’t know why , I don’t know why I woke up, maybe because I was irritated of myself, of situations, of life, or maybe because I was tired, tired of venting on a paper, clearing my thoughts when my heart still felt heavy.
I was tired of not feeling content, tired of overflowing emotions and still not being able to express.
For these tears represent all that was held within me. These tears carried the pain and fear the heavy thoughts that swim within the mind.
These tears knocked down the walls that guard the emotional world that’s hidden in me.
I’ve realized that I can now feel my feelings and accept my uncomfortableness. Be okay with my flaws.
I sat, I cried, I loved it.
Who knew there is sacredness in tears!